Monday, August 18, 2008

Scam Bars?

Apologies for the later-than-all-hell post—I'm just awakening from the coma the new S&M bars sent me into:


(For more, check the S&M website, specifically the news section.)

Much like last time, I'm not sure whether these are supposed to be a real product or not. A year or so ago I would have called fake based on the 9" x 32"dimensions alone, but what with Solid already producing a 9" x 32" bar, it's entirely possible that S&M felt the need to join the even-bigger-bar party. Hopefully if it were a joke, Moeller would have went with something ridiculous like 10" x 35"—bars that size probably won't be produced for real until say, next year. Then there's the matter of the name, Lumberjack Slams, which recalls both Denny's (two pancakes, a slice of grilled honey ham, two bacon strips, two sausage links and two eggs, plus hash browns or grits and choice of bread) and Odyssey. Be curious to see whether that name makes it to the production stage. If there is one.

Then, of course, there is the matter of that crossbar. I can't decide whether it looks more like a pair of Chinese fingercuffs (word to Rick Derris and Cohee Lundin), some sort of woodworking tool or the decorative trim on—well, something. Whatever the case, it sure is different. And by different I mean totally awful. Imagine getting a handful of that on a barspin gone wrong? Or knocking your chin on it on a big gap? Or if it takes a direct impact from...anything? I understand it for a show bike or as an example of what you can do with steel, but as an everyday set of bars? Hell no. (And going from what was said in the news section, it appears that they might try a frame with the same tubing? Yikes.) Oh well, at least they're bringing the Challenger stem back.

I'll be e-mailing Moeller this week to try and find out more. That is, if I ever recover sufficiently from the initial shock.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Take a walk.


23 comments:

CHROME_RIMS_YO said...

is that song from nowhere fast?

Anonymous said...

^^^ No that was Live Wire in Jason Enns part. This song was in All Time Low.

Anonymous said...

As long as shops and kids think tubing needs to have holes cut in it to be lightweight and modern, even guys like Moeller are going to make this stuff.

I'm bored.

Drew K said...

Im sick and tired of listing to a bunch of kids on TCUB saying "bigger bars and taller bars help make the bike more stable". True, but theres a limit, and that limit, in my mind, is the Odyssey Lumberjack bars. And these 32 in wide 9in tall bars are just flat out horrible. I hope this dosnt catch on, but you never know. If Eddic C rides some of these I can guarantee 50000 kids will be making excuses to why they bought em in no time.

Mark Westlake said...

I'm confident that these are just a joke, hence the name Lumberjack Slams as a piss-take of the Odyssey bars? And you say that 9" x 32" isn't a 'joke', but to be fair, even though Solid make a pair of real bars that size it IS still a joke. Last time I went to the skatepark the only other BMX riders were a bunch of 4-5 under 14-year-old kids, all of whom had either Grand Slams or Sky Highs, uncut. It's getting a bit out of hand, but hey, it's their bikes so it's not really the end of the world I guess.

But yeah: fake.

robbiemoralesmoustache said...

yo, fit is going to be dropping some new bars in the very near future: the big montanas. a foot tall and 48" wide with some serious backsweep. combines my two favorite things - arby's sandwiches and cashing in on the stupidity of the kids.

Stephen said...

rob-o's stache is my favorite.

those bars are a joke. S&M tweaks the industry anyway it can. this is no exception.

Russ said...

I agree that they're most likely a joke, but after the plastic sprocket/guard thing, I just can't be sure anymore, even about S&M.

BMX products in general are such a joke these days that you almost have to take everything seriously. Which is pathetic.

Ryan said...

PROPS Best of 1998 Crashes

Oh, My Back... said...

"Man, I used to have real bad back problems..." Every kid out there is claiming to have suffered some type of debilitating back pain cured by the purchase of some 8-8.25 x 28 bars. No doubt this is the case for a few, but it's hard to believe 15 year old kids are getting back problems from 1" less rise. I wish people would realize there's nothing wrong with getting big bars just because that's what everyone else is running.

Russ said...

I totally went from 8"x28" Haro Kneesavers to 7"x25" S&M Castillos back in like '96, and I thought it was awesome.

Of course when I got rid of them I thought it was even more awesome (since they DID hurt my back eventually), but that's not the point. I don't think. Heck, I'm six feet tall and I can't imagine riding 28" wide bars, let alone 29" or 32".

Anonymous said...

I'm a normally proportioned 6' guy who's tried everything, and 9"x26.5" feels best. Looks funny, though. I'd still be running my cut-just-right Boss 5-pieces if they hadn't been stolen. Bars that tall need to be stiffer, not wiffle-tubed. Extra leverage = flex = wasted energy and cracked bars.

Speaking of flex, don't tell KHE (or S&M), but there were some racing bars back in the '80s that, in place of a crossbar, had a thing like a plastic Erector set girder, held in place by two seat post clamps. I can't remember who made them, and unsurprisingly, none of them seem to have survived, but there were a few pairs at the track for a while. Dumb.

thomas said...

Galindo Bars! I actually remember seeing one not too long ago but I can't remember where ...

meat said...

When i was a nipper our local shop used to have some renthal bars in that had a clamp on crossbar, like motocross bars. They were annodised red so they were probably alu too, scary stuff looking back, but i wanted them so badly at the time.

wade said...

Exactly what is the point of an inverted front load stem that is slammed without headset spacers and 8" bars, when the opposite with a 7" bar would be the same feel but lighter?
Just saying.
And if you are running 28" wide bars with your grips / hands on the bends and not using that last two inches on each side anyways?

Stephen said...

that cross bar would make a pretty sick tat, though.

SIIIIIIIICK.

Bro.

nick said...

Answer made dem shits too, the bars with the black clamped crossbar.

Lee said...

The news post says

"We are also working a a whole frame with this new 4Q Baked tube set. Stay tuned...we'll have it at Interbike."

The 4Q tube set is what they make all of their bars out of, it isn't the crossbar. All of their other frames are made from SuperTherm tubing.

So they aren't making a lattice frame.

Anonymous said...

these bars were probably made with this site in mind

g. edward jones, jr. said...

You know, I kinda wished my lumberjacks were about an inch wider, because I'm 6'3" and have a 6'5" wingspan. I'm a BIG GUY. But when I was out riding a week or two ago I noticed that what I really need is smaller grips. I waste, easily, an inch, an inch and a half of bar real estate by grabbing my bars at the flanges instead of at the ends.

How about instead of wide bars, ODI re-release mushroom nuggets?

Smitty said...

I'm sure you can find your 'shrooms on ebay.

If anyone wants to see an actual lattice frame (MTB frame made from carbon fiber) follow this link...

http://delta7sports.com/isotruss.html

todd from albe's said...

lee has it right, the "4Q" is the name they gave to their heat treating process after (from what i've heard) Odyssey was getting uptight about releasing info on the 41 Thermal process. S&M named their's 4Q because if said with the right twang in your voice it sounds like "fuck you"...as in "fuck you, we'll figure it out ourselves". again, that's the word on the street so i may be entirely wrong.

Noel said...

Right, you are, Todd - my source at S&M, code name M.C.K.I.N.N.E.Y. once told me just that, minus the Odyssey part. I don't know if the term was a jab at Odyssey or just a funny name like so many other products over the years (H.A.F, Menstrual Cycles, and Gay Bars come to mind).

Gotta love those guys. Keep it up, Mad Dog.