Friday, July 4, 2008

Holding Fourth

Vic Murphy, Patriot.


In honor of Independence Day (not Independence Day), please remember your patriotic duty: grill meat, drink PBR, and shoot off fireworks. In fact, heed the words of the mighty FBM: blow up your car, ride a bike.


(Ardelean's not gonna like that photo, I don't think.)

And in the interests of showing (and not casting judgement on) an appropriate product, I present to you the wrapped S&M Race XLT stem. It doesn't get much more American than that. They came out in the middle of June (in Redneck and Race varieties) and there were less than 100 of each made, so they're probably long gone by now.




Enjoy the holiday.


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OK, one somewhat appropriate addition. The photo below is of Nate Wessel's signature Failure frame. If I remember correctly, I jacked it from a UK distributor's site, since Failure doesn't have one at the moment (just a myspace):


Note, if you will, the bottle opener chainstay gusset. Neat. Bike parts have had openers before, most notably the FBM Bottleneck stem and the Quamen street frame. (Wasn't one of Jay Miron's signature frames supposed to have a built-in opener as well?) I just have one question, though: Once you have the frame built up, how the fuck do you actually use it? Isn't it a bit inconvenient?

I'll stick to using my pedals, thanks.

24 comments:

Stephen said...

Meat will be fire roasted.

Shit will be exploded.

Beer will be consumed.

BMX's will be done.

HAIL.

ryan said...

It's for when your bike's upside down and you're not happy about working on it.

I though for sure you were going to make fun of that stem, and I wish you did.

Russ said...

Would it work upside down? Then you'd have to be holding the bottle...ah, I can't sort it out.

Why would I ever make fun of that stem? USA! USA! USA! (I'll admit to kind of liking the design of the Race XLT from a purely aesthetic standpoint. Reminds me of the Ferrari Enzo for some reason. Wouldn't run one, though.)

SQUAT THRUST PROLAPSE said...

You're obviously all virgins who've never cracked a beer before. Of course this will fucking work! Jesus christ...

For other things that work, go here and check it out. NOW WITH MUSIC MOTHERFUCKERS!

www.paydaybitches.blogspot.com

pdxbmx said...

s.t.p. stone temple pilot.

"You're obviously all virgins who've never cracked a beer before."

You have no idea who you are talking about.

Anonymous said...

(Wasn't one of Jay Miron's signature frames supposed to have a built-in opener as well?)

yes it was gonna be on his hoffman frame which never made it into production as he left the team.

Anonymous said...

That frame looks so cheap and crap its maddddd!!!!!

Anonymous said...

fuck bottle openers.. how bout a place on the frame to hide you weed?

Anonymous said...

too bad the top of that stem looks like a seat clamp.. wow.

Anonymous said...

that frame has is lugged!!!

the QUEEN said...

you can have america back.youll only fuck it up on thanksgiving....

uk all the way....

tim said...

haha yeah the hoffman frame.... shame he left before it was produced

ljwunderwhereyourkidsare said...

Wait. You guys drink bottles?

Anonymous said...

if you cant open a bottle with a lighter you're no old enough to drink

brian said...

weren't most of miron's ideas made into the design that became the base for line of schwinns from the mid to late 90s? like the top tube was flattening out and after it pierced the seat tube the bottle opener was made to be the end cap for the tube.

Russ said...

Torqueflite!

pdxbmx said...

^Those were my favorite Nikes.

Anonymous said...

FUCK AMERICA

Anonymous said...

yo rich hirsch, fuck you faggot

Anonymous said...

This is by FAR the best way to pop open a beer with your bike. Shoes or bike parts with weed stash would be awesome.

http://www.macneilbmx.com/blog/?p=751

Anonymous said...

yo this beer popping video link on top of me is fucking AMAZING... Just tried it and it worked perfect. Watch out for flying bottle caps.

http://www.macneilbmx.com/blog/?p=751

Anonymous said...

Since a lot of stems are hollowed out for weight (Like the Animal Stem) just carry around a 6mm allen wrench, you can hide weed in the stem, might be a little tedious to take on and off though

or use the hole in the seat if it's a pivotal, idk, get creative, none of this will work with sniffer dogs though

ljwunder said...

If you kick the dog in the face it won't matter where your weed is anymore.

Anonymous said...

if someone made a seat with a stash spot.. that would be worth buying. can't fit much weed in a stem... but i guess you can fit a few blunts in your slam bars...