Friday Quiz

I've never been happier to post a quiz, mainly because it gets that Odyssey slideshow thing off of my mission statement. The nerve! I suppose if I were more web-savvy, I could have found a way to run it smaller. Then again, if I were truly more web savvy, I wouldn't be using a stock Blogspot template to begin with. OK, that's enough use of the word 'savvy' for one day, I think. On with the show.




1. Yarr mateys, this be the new KHE Astern freecoaster:

Kudos for the nautical-themed name (I need to run one on me Black Pearl), but boo for coming up with a name that can be easily confused with the name of another bike company. What were the other names KHE considered?

a) Unday

b) It

c) Acneil

d) Utiny

e) BM



2. Standard's prototype topload stem has the top bearing cover for the headset built right in. With an internal headset and a fork with a built-in race, all you need is bearings.

What sort of problems does this present?

a) You can't run that cool carbon topcap.

b) You can't run your stem inverted.

c) You can't run 17 spacers with your Sky Highs.

d) All of the above.





3. This is the Primo 330 Pivotal seatpost.

Why would you ever want such a long post?

a) To use as a weapon when cornered.

b) You can keep your weed in it.

c) As a reinforcement for Grim Reapered seattubes.

d) To raise the seat on your Killorado to the height of a regular slammed seat.

e) Haha, there's no way that's a real product.





4. What is this?

a) One of those things they bolt into your bones if you break one really badly.

b) A septum piercing.

c) The newest Skull Candy headphones.

d) Blue.

e) I have no idea.




5. Remember when the Fit Edwin was the only frame you could buy stock with no 990 mounts? Now seemingly every company offers a brakeless complete (with CPSC-mandated caliper brake)—even MirraTrek is joining in for '09 with one of their own.
Who makes the above bit of instant street cred?

a) Verde

b) Kink

c) FBM

d) Fit

e) We The People





BONUS QUESTION: Who's better at t-shirt design?

a) Me.



b) Primo
••••••••••••••••••••••

How the hell is it the end of summer already?

(Late) Friday Quiz

Um, it's still Friday, isn't it? Maybe this is just a shameless way to increase my weekend readership. Either that or I'm just slow. One of the two.

Anyway, on with the Friday quiz.



1. This new Demolition shirt is a nod to my main man Mr. Spock. It is, to the best of my knowledge, the first BMX shirt to reference Star Trek.


Other TV shows they considered as inspiration were:

a) Mork & Mindy

b) BJ and the Bear

c) My Two Dads

d) Perfect Strangers

e) Battlestar Galactica



2. Streetwear company Animal designed this exclusive New Era hat specifically for the Australian market. There are only 300 of them. You can only buy one if:


a) You know what Vegemite is.

b) You have a bigger knife than anyone on your block.

c) Your bed is on fire.

d) You have two front wheels and no chain.




3. The Mutiny Cosmotron has removable brake mounts and a non-removable seatpost:


This is like:

a) A car with welded-on gas cap and removable steering wheel.

b) A house with permanent screen windows and detachable living room.

c) A 7-11 with locks on the door.

d) Rain on your wedding day.



4. These new stems are made by:



a) Fit

b) Premium

c) Hoffman

d) Coalition

e) There's a difference?




5. What is this?


a) The walls of a roller rink circa 1984.

b) A visual representation of the newest Gatorade flavors.

c) The new Odyssey grips.

d) A close-up from the Olympics opening ceremony in Beijing.




6. These are Nathan Williams's signature bars from United. They're 29" wide stock, but he cuts his down to 27".
This is sort of like:

a) Getting a signature drop stem and running it upside down with eight spacers.

b) Riding brakeless and getting a signature frame with gyro tabs.

c) Riding brakeless and getting a signature brake lever.

d) Coming up with your own nickname and then getting mad when people refer to you by it.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

Totally forgot the video. My bad.

Friday Quiz (featuring Farside)

I feel remiss for skipping last Friday entirely (not to mention Thursday), so you all deserve a decent quiz today. Maybe—just maybe—I'll post something over the weekend, too. Just to try and catch up. Anyway, on with the show.



1. It's hard to look threatening when you a) appear to have highlights in your hair, b) are wearing professionally worn-in jeans, and c) are recognized universally as more or less the nicest guy ever. However, one has to give Chris Doyle credit for trying as he brandishes his Demolition signature fork.

Which iconic image should they have tried to duplicate instead?


a) Malcolm X

b) Dirty Harry

c) Reservoir Dogs (with, perhaps, Brian Castillo)

d) John Rambo

e) Tony Montana



2. The UK's Segment Clothing made this shirt as a response to the "STREETS IS TALKING" shirt Fit made a while back:

Which discipline can we expect to respond next and how?


a) FLATLAND IS WHISPERING

b) PARK IS WHINING

c) VERT IS WITTERING

d) RACING IS LECTURING




3. This bike is:


a) Eddie Cleveland's fault.

b) The subject of Bikeguide's Bike Check of the Week.

c) A mass-market complete.

d) Your ticket to instant cool with just a swipe of a major credit card.

e) Most of the above.




4. There are big bars, there are bigger bars, and there are Solid's Roseanne Bars. Nine inches high and 32 inches wide, you won't find bigger bars unless you make them yourself. Assuming a little wider than shoulder width is about right, who are these bars designed for?


a) Andre the Giant

b) Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

c) Sasquatch

d) Micah Kranz

e) Duh



5. Colony's new plastic pedals differ from all the other plastic pedals already on the market how?


a) Since they're Australian, they spin in the opposite direction of pedals from the Northern hemisphere.

b) They have black endcaps instead of white or red.

c) They say "Colony" on them.

d) They look like they should come stock on an $80 complete.

e) Absolutely nothing.




6. These stunning platform pedals are available from Bike Nashbar for the low, low price of $39.99:

What's the worst thing about them?


a) They only have three strings.

b) They're not available in 1/2".

c) They're not painted to look like Eddie Van Halen's guitar.

d) They don't offer a Dimebag Darrell version.

e) They exist.



7. This Nike Olympic trucker hat is supposed to be for the BMX team. You can buy one of your very own from Dan's for just $23.99:


If you were to buy one and wear it around, what percentage of people would look at it and think "oh, BMX"?


a) 22

b) 14

c) 9

d) 2

e) 0

••••••••••••••••••

And now for something completely different. The audio isn't the best, but it's still worth it. Farside playing some New Jersey college in 1995. Wish I was there.







(Doyle made me think of them, so thank—or blame—him.)

Stay Flat

Since there was some mention of flatland in the comments yesterday, and since I haven't done a quiz in a while, AND since it's Friday, I suppose there's only one thing to do:

FLATLAND QUIZ!

Don't everyone get excited at once.




1. What are these?




a) CNCed weapons for a futuristic Renaissance Faire.

b) Pizza slicers for those who like perforated slices.

c) Crankarms and sprockets.

d) Gardening implements.



2. What is this?



a) Part of a prosthetic leg.

b) A piece of jewelry from the Blade Runner straightedge collection.

c) A stem.

d) Wall E's appendix.




3. The KHE RIP frame was released in limited numbers. It sold out, so they went ahead and re-released it—but not before making some improvements.


The new version, shown above, is lighter, has improved dropouts, more room for tiny sprockets, and a fluted seattube. You can read more about it here.

Those people who were fortunate enough to be able to purchase the original limited—and apparently inferior—design should feel:

a) cheated

b) angry

c) pissed off

d) foolish

e) all of the above




4. Global-flat.com is your one-stop resource to compare products from every flatland brand under the sun, most of which you've probably never heard of. Like these wonderful Chimera bars (way to line up those holes, fellas):


Without looking, they showcase how many styles of handlebar?


a) 27

b) 42

c) 58

d) 71

e) 87



5) Finally, test your flatland riding knowledge! Who should have won the Voodoo Jam Final? (Please watch the video first.)





a) Ucchie

b) Matt Wilhelm

c) the guy who did combos on BOTH wheels

d) Trevor Meyer

d) I have no fucking idea, flatland is gay.



EDIT: For a blatant error. Global-Flat, not an online shop. My bad.

Quiz For All Mankind

Lots of Mankind product updates on the System Cycles blog today, which means it's finally time for another quiz.



1. In addition to the 18 styles already on their site, the blog shows five new seat designs. Two of them, including the Globe (shown) were already in their lineup.

Which means Mankind now has how many different seats?

a) 23

b) 21

c) 18

d) way too fucking many



2. Brew crew.


Laser-cut decorative seatstay/chainstay bridges are all the rage these days. Stricker has the anchor, Homan had the NJ, Mutiny does brass knuckles. Even 2Hip did an "A" for Jarrod Allen. This frame was made for:

a) Cecil Cooper

b) Robin Yount

c) Jeff Klugiewicz

d) Paul Molitor

e) Prince Fielder



3. Bottom bracket.

Anodizing and engraving a part that will never see the light of day except when it's in the packaging (or installed in a Grim Reaper) is:

a) insane

b) stupid

c) overkill

d) a complete waste of time and money

e) all of the above



4. Barends.


Selling an aluminum barend in 200h8—even if only the endcap is aluminum—is the equivalent of selling:

a) a chromoly seatpost

b) a seven-pound frame

c) forks with peg bosses

d) a cross-bolt stem

e) a 16-tooth cassette driver



5. Bridges redux.


The globe on the Neworld frame is indicitave of:

a) Mankind's wish to join the United Nations

b) Mankind's love for this planet

c) Mankind's wish to produce an entirely useless and purely decorative "brace"

d) Mankind's quest for worldwide domination

e) Mankind's desire to remind everyone where they are

Friday Quiz

1. This hollow-pin, hollow plate Mechanik chain (now available to match the Statue of Liberty!) saves how much weight over the conventional Shadow half-link chain?


a) 6 ounces

b) 4.5 ounces

c) 3.5 ounces

d) 2.5 ounces

e) 1.5 ounces




2. The new Primo Nate Williams seat differs from all the other slim Pivotal seats already on the market how?

a) it's lighter

b) it's stronger

c) it utilizes an entirely new shape

d) it's made by Primo




3. Tony Neyer's signature Skyline bars from Sputnic have an externally-butted crossbar for what reason?




a) weight savings, duh

b) external butting is cheaper than internal butting

c) aerodynamics

d) it looks cool

e) makes it easier to keep your Play crossbar pad centered




4. These new ultra-machined Premium pedals are so thin that the spindle actually bulges out of the center. If you ride street, they should last:



a) a year

b) a month

c) a week

d) a day

e) 11 minutes





5) Including all models and colors, Mankind offers how many different seats?



a) 3

b) 6

c) 9

d) 14

e) 18

Friday Quiz

1. When shooting a photo of your prototype super-high, super-tall, two-piece bars for your new company's official blog, you should focus on:


a) the welds

b) the logo

c) the ginormous crossbar

d) the rise

e) nothing, focusing is gay



2. Apparently a chopper company decided to convert a bunch of old Primo Tenderizers into limited edition (ha) innovative (HA!) motorcycle footpegs. The first question that comes to mind when looking at them is:


a) "Who in their right mind would buy those?"

b) "Wouldn't PCs have been a lot lighter?"

c) "Do they come in any limited edition colors?"

d) "Will Orange County Choppers build a BMX-themed bike now?"

e) "Wonder what sucker Primo will find to buy all their leftover Hula Hoops?"




3. This product was manufactured when, and for what purpose?


a) in 1985, to keep your front brake bolt from tearing your Vans on tailwhips

b) in 1989 to keep your front brake bolt from tearing your Dynos on pinky squeaks

c) in 2008, to keep your fork crown from ruining your Coastals's dye job on footjams





4. This highly functional seatstay brace decorates whose signature frame?


a) Eric B.

b) Rakim

c) Donald Trump

d) Jason Enns

e) This guy.



5. This shirt tells casual observers that:


a) You disassembled and painted your bike at an American Apparel, then stole the evidence.

b) Riding brakeless may cause your bike to explode.

c) It's Halloween, and you're dressed as a Dan's catalog.

d) "The four-cross pattern is ideal for evenly spreading any loads evenly over the sprocket itself in the event of an impact."*

e) Magazine publishers should stick to publishing magazines.


* Shockingly enough, when I re-checked the Federal website, they had fixed the copy, removing the first "evenly." Dare I take credit?

Friday Quiz: Standard Edition

Apparently the guys from Zeal Distribution in the UK made a trip to Iowa to tour Standard's new in-house production facilities. They posted photos and a little recap of the trip here. Standard's frames used to be manufactured by Waterford Precision Cycles in Wisconsin, which is recognized as one of the finest framebuilders in the world. Of course Waterford's road and mountain frames retail for a lot more than $400, so it's probably more cost-effective for Standard to make their own frames and forks. They're undoubtedly excited about this new chapter in their history. Maybe a little TOO excited.


1.
Standard's prototype race fork features stylistically sculpted dropouts that incorporate the Standard logo. When you look at them, what do you see?

a) Company pride

b) Fine worksmanship

c) Substantial weight savings

d) A pair of stained glass windows

e) An enormous lawsuit waiting to happen


2.
Standard's new frame dropout also has their logo all over it. Fourteen of them. Obviously someone in Iowa loves their new CNC machine. (It will be highly disappointing if their new frames aren't covered in exactly 63 logos.) The question is, how many of these new dropouts would be required to make one old STA dropout?

a) 2

b) 4

c) 10

d) 27

e) 63


3.
The in thing to do these days is to hang your newest frame like a prize bass in order to show how unbelievably light it is. (The fact that Standard is making a lighter frame in-house than any that Waterford made for them is awesome, and by awesome I mean completely terrifying.) From what I gather, this is a prototype of Rick Moliterno's signature frame, which he's seen holding in another photo. One has to wonder what it will be called:

a) LTA

b) Lighty

c) Boss 4.19

d) Eleanor

e) Suck It, Moeller

Friday Quiz

With sincerest apologies to bikesnobnyc, who's better at this than anybody, I'd like to end this week with a quick one-question quiz.

Clicking on the photo will reveal the answer, but don't cheat.



Which bike company is proudly showing the exact weight of their latest super-litewait prototype frame by balancing it on a scale?


a) Eastern

b) Fit

c) FBM

d) Fly

e) Thick


And one open-ended question to sleep on. If every company is going to try and make frames that are more or less the same (low toptube, sub-5), why do we need so damn many companies in the first place?