1. It's hard to look threatening when you a) appear to have highlights in your hair, b) are wearing professionally worn-in jeans, and c) are recognized universally as more or less the nicest guy ever. However, one has to give Chris Doyle credit for trying as he brandishes his Demolition signature fork.
Which iconic image should they have tried to duplicate instead?a) Malcolm X
b) Dirty Harry
c) Reservoir Dogs (with, perhaps, Brian Castillo)
d) John Rambo
e) Tony Montana
2. The UK's Segment Clothing made this shirt as a response to the "STREETS IS TALKING" shirt Fit made a while back:
Which discipline can we expect to respond next and how?a) FLATLAND IS WHISPERING
b) PARK IS WHINING
c) VERT IS WITTERING
d) RACING IS LECTURING
3. This bike is:
a) Eddie Cleveland's fault.
b) The subject of Bikeguide's Bike Check of the Week.
c) A mass-market complete.
d) Your ticket to instant cool with just a swipe of a major credit card.
e) Most of the above.
4. There are big bars, there are bigger bars, and there are Solid's Roseanne Bars. Nine inches high and 32 inches wide, you won't find bigger bars unless you make them yourself. Assuming a little wider than shoulder width is about right, who are these bars designed for?
a) Andre the Giant
b) Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
c) Sasquatch
d) Micah Kranz
e) Duh
5. Colony's new plastic pedals differ from all the other plastic pedals already on the market how?
a) Since they're Australian, they spin in the opposite direction of pedals from the Northern hemisphere.
b) They have black endcaps instead of white or red.
c) They say "Colony" on them.
d) They look like they should come stock on an $80 complete.
e) Absolutely nothing.
6. These stunning platform pedals are available from Bike Nashbar for the low, low price of $39.99:
What's the worst thing about them?
a) They only have three strings.
b) They're not available in 1/2".
c) They're not painted to look like Eddie Van Halen's guitar.
d) They don't offer a Dimebag Darrell version.
e) They exist.
7. This Nike Olympic trucker hat is supposed to be for the BMX team. You can buy one of your very own from Dan's for just $23.99:
If you were to buy one and wear it around, what percentage of people would look at it and think "oh, BMX"?
a) 22
b) 14
c) 9
d) 2
e) 0
••••••••••••••••••
And now for something completely different. The audio isn't the best, but it's still worth it. Farside playing some New Jersey college in 1995. Wish I was there.
(Doyle made me think of them, so thank—or blame—him.)
