Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas

Let's run through some Interbike photos, shall we? Thanks again to Jacob for sending them—his comments will appear first in quotes.


1. Kink Pivotal posts.


Here we have Kink's two varieties of seatpost—slammable, and absolutely have to be slammed. I'm sure that extra inch of aluminum is all that's keeping you from triple whips. (More importantly, note the seatpost clamps in the background. Keep hope alive!)



2. Kink ceramic headset.


Ceramic bearings are all the rage in road and mountain (and industrial applications, I'm sure). They're smoother, faster, and—of course—more expensive. This Kink version is supposed to retail for somewhere in the neighborhood of $100. Let's hope they remembered to make them correctly this time. Think this is a case of killing a fly with a grenade—does anyone's headset not spin smoothly enough? Will this help someone pull a sextuple whip or 37 barspins? Is it worth spending quadruple what a "regular" headset costs? Let me think...no.


3. KHE Centaur bar/stem combo.



Uh, the handlebar is actually a three-piece bar? Color me frightened.


“At first glance this you would think this would be a seat post clamp. but you would be wrong. It's the clamp inside the one piece bar and stem combo. Looks like a seat post clamp from 10 years ago.”

Yes it does. Words cannot express my disappointment.


4. KHE freecoaster.




"Coaster hub that you can adjust with only a allen key through the middle of the axle, allowing you to adjust on the fly for how much play you want without have take anything off the bike. Pretty sweet, but I dont ride a freecoaster hub.”

Neither do I, but having dealt with a Geisha Street for a while (two washers or three?), I can see where this would be a desireable development. Look for every other freecoaster maker out there to quickly license it if it works.


5. T-1 Cyclops stem.


Ain't gonna lie, I'm pretty happy to see an honest-to-God new T1 product. And I can appreciate stems with no bolts on the back, but a traditional four-bolt cap. Not really psyched on split caps, but oh well. At least it's not carved up all to hell and back.


6. Sunday Model D


I was going to call this Sunday's long-awaited trails frame, but I'm not sure whether people were really waiting for them. I know it has "normal" 5mm dropouts and a regular non-wave downtube. I do not know whether it has longer stays. The graphics are pretty rad, though. And you can't go wrong with olive and silver. Please make padsets.


7. Odyssey sidehack


I never understood sidehacks, even in the BMX Action days. Cool-looking bike, though. Are those...Cyclecraft bars?


8. Fly grips...er, grip?

Interesting. One grip that you can cut yourself to custom lengths. Or, if you ride a fixed with drops, buy two and cut the flanges off. I'm sure there are other uses for it, too, but this isn't that kind of website.



9. 2-Hip Groove...whatever.


“quite possibly the worst eye sore at interbike... I cant really say much more...”

And I already said enough.



10. Fit forks.

“kind of hard to see but the forks get crazy tapered down near the drop outs. dakota has been riding them and that have held up. hmmmm.”

They were displayed on the Dakota Roche frame, which I don't know anything about except that it has gussets on the top and bottom at the headtube. I'd like to see the Dakota, Eddie and DeHart frames side-by-side.


11. DK Random Wrench V2


“spoke wrench built into the top, sleeker one-peice design. with a little socket nub on the side. much nicer looking. not a bike part but something to make fixing it much easier.”

I've never had a Random Wrench—if I was carrying a camera bag anyway I didn't mind loading individual tools—but it makes sense, at least. Seems inevitable that I'll wind up with one.


12. Premium 3.3 pound frame


“sooo you make a 3.3 lbs frame and you build it up and bolt it to a stand, yet have no stand- alone frame to pick up... premium you are intelligent! so the tubes are double butted and drawn in a special way. then heat treated for 3.5 times longer than normal frames. haro guy said it would shatter before it bent... so you have that to look forward to!”

I'm not sure whether I need to add anything to that, other than the low standover is disgusting and the "Strawberry" toptube integrated seatclamp may be worse.


13. Stolen Pivotal post.


“more plastic! excuse me thermalite...”

I'm genuinely torn. On the one hand, if you're going to just slam your post anyway, there's no reason it shouldn't be made of plastic or wood or cardboard or whatever. On the other hand, is it really necessary? I vote HELL no. How heavy can one of those stubby little aluminum bits be? Now, if it was a plastique post, that would be a different story. I could get behind that.


14. Haro Freestyler


My friend Ian sent me this one. While the double top tube and graphics look spot-on, and the black mags are appropriate enough, I always hate the generic three-piece cranks and padded seats that appear on these throwback bikes. Not to mention the pseudo Gower Power sprocket and all-black tires. Bikes like this just end up looking like a mish-mash of styles from different eras and aren't particularly good for anything, except preying on the nostalgia-blinded. Why not do it right?

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Viva Las Vegas

Can I just say I found it quite funny that, in the first segment of the first day of Interbike videos on RIDE, the first product introduced was a fixed gear complete? Apparently Subrosa will be joining Volume and FBM in the fixed gear market. Which is all well and good, 'cause company owners gotta eat, and one would presume the margins are better on big-wheeled bikes. That said, the first product shown? Come on.



What else did we learn from the first-day videos? (Hopefully I'll get photos of some of this stuff for tomorrow—at which point I'll be happy to discuss it all further):

• Fit is making plastic pedals.
• They're also giving Dakota Roche a signature frame (which makes...six signature frames? Seven including the Lurch?)
  
• Sunday will be offering a cruiser frame and fork. (They're not alone—WTP and Subrosa already had cruisers in their respective lines, and Macneil will be offering a rather lovely complete 26" looptail cruiser straight out of 1981.)
  
• Sunday has also added a trails frame, which will be waveless and feature "normal" 5mm dropouts. If it's lighter, I guarantee people will be riding it as a street frame.
  
• Aside from the fixed gear, Subrosa will be offering a Kryptonite-esque chain lock. Oh yeah, they'll also be making some BMX bikes and stuff.
• The 2-Hip Anniversary Pork is just plain crazy (and Ron uses all-caps more than I do, damn). I'm not quite sure who's going to buy it.
• Although I guess retro is in, as Subrosa is doing that bashguard bike as well as a mag-wheeled 20", Haro is offering an update of the original '82 Freestyler, and Sunday's Second Wave colors are based on bikes from Haro's '87 line.

Lots of colors now, too. Almost too many. In fact, it reminds me of the days immediately before the dark days, when damn near every mailorder part listing was followed by the cryptic notation "R-B-Y-BK-W-O-L-GR-GY-BB." (That specific string was for Tuff Wheels in July 1987, by the way.)

Anyways, there will be much more tomorrow. I'm not sure whether I'd be way more on top of things if I was there or not. Maybe the exact opposite.

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I'm kind of hoping someone spots a worse complete than this, but at the same time I'm not sure whether I could handle it. Meet the Bully Impulse:


I mean, seriously, why even bother? Other than the tiny gearing and the small dropouts, this thing looks like a time traveller from 1998. It's even got the chainstay dimple for a 44-tooth sprocket (and what looks like a 65-degree headtube). I almost wish I had a kid so I could not buy him this.

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The Worst Idea Ever

I want to like 2Hip, I really do. Ron Wilkerson obviously means well—he's been riding forever, and every year he continues to put his money where his heart is. But then he comes out with stuff like this, and I literally reel in amazement:


The "Groovetech" steering system hasn't been written up on the 2Hip site yet—no surprise, since said site seems to be updated semi-annually at best—but it did earn an article on RIDE (a glowingly positive one, no less). Sigh. Basically what we have here is a four-piece bar with an oversized, splined clamping area, a stem that is complementarily (!) splined, and a steerer tube with three notches that match up to splines on the stem. Greater engineering minds than I could probably write 50,000 words on why this is a terrible idea, but allow me to just present three or four reasons I thought of all on my own.


1. It's too obvious.

If this were truly a good idea, it would be on the market already. I have no doubt that other companies have prototyped (or at least sketched up) similar products and rejected them. No doubt whatsoever. Virtually anyone who runs three-piece cranks has wondered "hey, why don't they make splined steerer tubes?" Then someone explains why it's a bad idea, and they move on to wondering why that hot girl from Thursday never responded to their text message and whether her Myspace would be easy to find even though all they know is that her name is Heather and she lives in Brooklyn. Or was it Manhattan?


2. Some slippage is good.

Back in 1985, when Ron was airing five feet out of six-foot quarters on bikes built for 12-year-olds, slippage was bad. You had tinfoil bars held by beercan stems, and death (or at least unconsciousness) was always waiting right around the corner.

Things work better now. And even if your bars do slip, it's generally not catastrophic. You go to your bag (or someone else's) pull out the multi-tool, re-adjust, and keep trying those tailwhip flyouts. With the 2Hip setup, your bars and stem won't slip, but they WILL bend. Or crack. Or shear off. Which means instead of a simple re-adjustment, you get to go home and order new bars. Or a new stem. Or a new fork. Which brings is to the next point...


3. Compatibility.

Unless this system catches on (which it won't), you're buying a whole 2Hip front end. Good luck with that. And once this is patented, other companies would have to license the "technology" before making their own gargantuan stems and hideously ugly four-piece bars. (Can you even make two-piece bars to fit that stem? And if so what would they look like? Maybe éclat will make a converter for "regular" bars.)


4. They're ugly as sin.

Not sure whether anyone's noticed, but BMX is all about aesthetics these days. Damn kids painting their bikes to match their outfits and whatnot.

Hold on, I'm shaking my cane.

OK. Regardless, if you're gonna come out with some sort of revolutionary new product, it had better look as good as it performs. Otherwise it's just not going to catch on. And this setup, while it may have looked cool back in like '95, just isn't gonna cut it today. Like my man Jules Winnfield once said, "sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker." It's the same thing. Trust me.

I kind of hope this whole setup is just a hoax like the Lumberjack Slams. But I don't think it is.

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This feels strangely appropriate:

Go Pig or Go Home

Was on the 2Hip website yesterday (update the news, fellas, March 27th was a long time ago) and decided to click on the "products" link. Let's see what frames they're offering these days.

Lino, Death, Jarrod, Playboi, Pork, Soul...

Wait a minute. Pork?

PORK?

Yep. Still there, all 9.3 sexy pounds of it. And, if you believe what it says on the site, still available in yellow, black or candy red for the low, low price of $259.95 (just $27.95 a pound—which is probably how they should advertise it).


According to the copy, it's "the last frame you'll ever need!" Which, I suppose, is right—because it'll either outlast you, or cause you to quit BMX forever. Possibly both. They're apparently all out of the aluminum version, which is a shame, because at least that bike made a little sense. An updated, slimmed-down internal/mid version could actually be cool. Why they haven't given up and sold the chromoly ones for scrap yet, I have no idea.

Think Kink still has any Revision Bs?

EDIT: Apparently Alex still has the correct rims for you, too.