Monday, June 15, 2009

Mutually Assured Destruction

How do you destroy a modern BMX bike in five seconds or less? Try the Austin Church gap, of course:

SOLIDSTEEL Johno & the Church Gap from Clint on Vimeo.


I know Jimmy Levan, sir, and you're no Jimmy Levan. That said, ridiculous props for even attempting it. Solid Steel for sure.

If nothing else, this should serve as a public service message in support of straight-gauge spokes, 48-spoke wheels and (gulp—check 1:46) bars with fewer butts than a Sir Mix-A-Lot video. Not that a stronger rear wheel wouldn't have self-destructed too, but man. Dude's lucky his bike was the only thing that got destroyed. And cracks or no, I'd retire every part on it with full honors.

Obviously I have no intentions of jumping TACG™, but my new/old bike is ready for it on the off chance I lose my freaking mind:


In semi-unrelated news, there has been a Troy McMurray sighting on the East Coast. Hide the women and children.

34 comments:

todd from albe's said...

bars with more butts than a Sir-Mix-A-Lot video is the funniest thing ever written on here, ever. from this point forward you may want to consider the all news/no witty comments approach since none will compare.

Anonymous said...

It's a bit weird him not riding an S&M, but it's pretty damn awesome he's on FBM.

Anonymous said...

troy mcmurray getting any attention right now is a step in the right direction for bmx.

Anonymous said...

a troy mcmurry sighting... and a verification word of Visors. How cool. Hit rewind, it's gonna be a trip.

Anonymous said...

I was losing faith in FBM...redemption.

Anonymous said...

Just so we're clear; he's not "on FBM", FBM gave him a frame. There is a difference.

Anonymous said...

first Brian Iarocci and now Troy McMurry... FBM is the hookup now a days for comebacks. Way to go FBM!!!!

Anonymous said...

"Just so we're clear; he's not "on FBM", FBM gave him a frame. There is a difference."

Who gives a fuck? The dude is alive and back riding, and he's on an FBM, everybody wins.

Anonymous said...

I'm psyched he's riding. I just prefer to make the distinction between "on" and "on an".
So I suppose I give a fuck.

Moeller said...

FBM is the new S and M, really they are...

G.S.GUCCILIFE said...

Moeller is the new SPRFLS...

Anonymous said...

SPRFLS is the new AIDS...

Stephen said...

Jesus fucking Christ, are those plastic Eastern pedals?

Anonymous said...

Are those 48s front and back?

That's Odyssey for ya, Ahahahahah!

Odyssey sucks!

D said...

Every time I see that church gap, I'm amazed that ANYONE has attempted it at all. You know how everything looks smaller on video? What does that tell you when you see the church gap and think "no way man, that's wayyy too far...."

Props to that dude. I'm stoked he's still with us.

Has anyone ever nosed into those stairs at the bottom?

Andy said...

"Has anyone ever nosed into those stairs at the bottom?"

I assure you, if anyone ever nosed into those stairs at the bottom that person wouldn't be alive to speak about it, and I've seen this gap in person.

D said...

Yeah, that's what I was thinking....

Clod said...

light street!

Anonymous said...

"Props to that dude"

props to that dude?!? yeah, props for being stupid enough to risk sustaining potentially life threatening injuries just to attract some attention! ... are you so shallow that you need your 5 minutes of bmx fame to raise your self esteem?

that's not something I admire.

"hey! I'm gonna wreck all the joints in my body, get multiple concusions and spend a few weeks in a coma! .... but I'll do it on the nicest, lightest craziest colored bike!

"man! you don't know what bmx is about!"

it's about being stupid, ignorant, homophobic and arty farty "a la defgrip"

Russ said...

@Anon 9:38: Um, on my bike? Yeah, they're 48s front and rear—Bulletproof hubs laced to BFRs. The only Odyssey stuff on the wheels is the rear tire and the freewheel.

Big Daddy said...

I'll lift you up! i'll lift your hole freakin house up!

Beau said...

@12:42 anon, why don't you just play xbox if you don't want to get hurt? You don't "give props" to someone who tries a crazy gap, who do you give them to, someone who rides within their limits in a stylish fashion?

ryan said...

The kid doesn't even know how to use a hacksaw.

At least he adjusted his hat before jumping it...

Spartan said...

He did the gap right, or else he wouldn't be laughing. It's his bike that went over the limits.

Dude should've used 48 spokes Midways (instead of I guess - 48 Hazzard?) and thickest straight gauge spokes, 0.065 bars.

Then again he got lucky because his bars are a few Newtons away from snapping and stabbing him at his vital organs.

I gave him props for not wearing any safety gears.

Stephen said...

@anon 12:42...if you a scared motherfucker go to church.

Esc said...

...then after you're done there, do the gap out front?

Mr B said...

Spartan, he clearly did the gap wrong or else he would have landed after the steps. No wheel could withstand an impact that hard from a square object like a step whether it had 36, 48 or 100 spokes for that matter, as for the bars they snap when he throws his bike afterwards.

He just needs to learn to pedal a bit faster and get a new wheel.

To anyone who has been there, is there a limit to how much run up you can get?

Jake said...

Like rory ellis said on The Come Up, if the rider just did a decent tuck he would have definitely made it. It was just a dead sailor drop, and that's why he cased. He had enough speed to clear it.

Anonymous said...

What kind of an idiot uses a hacksaw upside down?

Anonymous said...

And those life-time warranties in bmx make such little sense that everyone keeps trying to offer them. Beauty. Odyssey is so whacked (and obviously too rich to give a shit).

Anonymous said...

What amuses me more than the obvious foul up and the catastrophic failure of his rim is the nonchalance displayed by the old man at the end, also how the technique that he used to cut off the shrub.

This video has a lot of things going on than just 'the gap'.

gsport george said...

I dont really get the point of this post.

1. He FUCKING nearly makes it, but mid air obviously decides he wont and concentrates on saving HIMSELF over the bike. Anyone who wasnt ON the bike in the air has no business saying shit like he could have made it if he tucked...

2. The bike takes the impact. In the same way that if you drive your car into a wall it will buckle to disipate the energy of the impact so you can walk away, his wheel exploding like that takes his kinetic energy away in a relatively safe way.

3. My bet is that a 48 would have folded pretty much the same way with that kind of impact, but if his bike had been 5lbs heavier overall maybe he would have hit further down the steps, and if his bike had withstood the impact unscathed the energy would have had to go elsewhere and he would have been bucked over the bars (or into them) at full pelt..

4. Bike parts are a hell of a lot cheaper than body parts...

5. Props.

Anonymous said...

@ Stephen

it's called risk common sense!

Anonymous said...

"1. He FUCKING nearly makes it, but mid air obviously decides he wont and concentrates on saving HIMSELF over the bike. Anyone who wasnt ON the bike in the air has no business saying shit like he could have made it if he tucked..."

Watching the footage in slow-mo it is pretty obvious to me he bunnyhopped too late, it's more a high speed drop-off than a proper 'bunhnyhopped gap'