The X-Files

I'm sure by now you're all at least peripherally familiar with Big Daddy (no, not this one), the internet sensation sweeping the BMX nation, with his penchant for picking things up, polishing his Mustang's dubs, and spreading the gospel of the "X-Factor." He's up to nearly a dozen YouTubed episodes of "Daddy Vision", with no signs of stopping:



Dude's quite the breath of fresh air, an antidote to super-serious trick stars and 14-year-old Dew Tour park rats. The best thing is, unlike most internet shit-talkers (like, say, myself), he can actually back it up on the bike. Ask Scotty Cranmer. Or just watch his insane Little Devil TV video from back when he was just plain ol' Pat Laughlin. He's got a way better chance of saving BMX from itself than I do—even if he does ride for Fuj...um, SE.

However, just the other day I was flipping through an old issue of Ride (Dec./Jan. '97), and I ran across the following ad on the inside front cover:


Uh-oh. Someone's got some explaining to do.

(And this was just plain weird to find.)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Despite what you may have heard, flatland is not gay. One would think that the world's pre-eminent BMX magazine would do whatever they could to break people of that impression. Right? Um, or not.

Rock Solid

After yesterday's swiss-cheesed abominations, there must be balance. Something a bit more...Solid?


Spent part of yesterday traipsing through the backwaters of the BMX internets, guided by the invaluable BMXfeed.com. And after watching Alistair Whitton backflip a motorcycle and spending a few valiant minutes attempting to find the photos of Aaron Ross's new frame on Sunday (they're right here), I realized I hadn't checked the Solid site in a while. And in fact, I hadn't heard much about them at all lately except for the re-release of the OG stem.

I was not disappointed. The new news was somewhat limited—there's a 4.65 pound AAv.2 frame in the works (with 'classic Solid geometry,' whatever that is), and a new set of cranks that apparently will be called "Bitch Cranks" (wonder what Dan's will call them?), but probably won't come with a 1" spindle. Shame.

No, in this case it's the old stuff that I was excited about. There's nothing better than a company's sale page of outdated frames and parts—if you don't mind running a regular headset and American BB, the 6.1-pound Killing Machine (still available in all sizes!) is a pretty good deal for $100. And where else can you find four different versions of a three-pound fork? Those and the Iron Cross Bars will probably still be a tough sell, though, whatever the price.

(It does appear that, after long last, Dan's sold off their last remaining Solid Duke. They had one listed on their "Scratch and Dent" page forever at an utterly ridiculous $240 or so. On second thought, they probably just gave up and turned it into a bootleg Barcode.)

P.S. In the recent four-piece roundup, I forgot the ones that Standard was making for Drew York (although they're not in production...yet), as well as the updated WTP Everlites. Can't hate on the Everlites, although they were cooler when they had a v-crossbar.

P.P.S. Apparently Kink's Chris Doyle has also joined the chrome bike revolution.

P.P.P.S. I was gonna make fun of this today—something along the lines of less riding, more reading—but decided against it. Or did I? By the way, there's only room for one Mad Dog in BMX. OK, maybe two.

Assassination Day

To be honest, nothing much in BMX surprises me anymore. The riding? When you have guys doing flairs entirely backwards and 360ing off rooftops, it's apparent that anything goes. And productwise, well, I think I've made myself quite clear. Let's just say I generally hope for the best and expect the worst.

Sometimes, it seems, my expectations are still too high.

Take Hitman Bikes. Their new street frame is a low-slung, drilled-out, Sanko-tubed creation that looks like an Eastern on a crash diet or a Tierra that was used for target practice (the three holes in the headtube beg to be converted into a working traffic light). According to the accompanying release, which is up on Ride but, oddly enough, not on Hitman's own site, it weighs four pounds, six ounces, which honestly seems kind of heavy given all the drilling. The prototype was sub-four, and is apparently still being ridden, which doesn't really explain why the production frame is 12 ounces heavier.

(I'm not entirely sure, based on the photo and the diagram below, where all 21 holes are. It looks like 10 in the seattube, three in the headtube, and four in the capped stays. Where else? Maybe the gyro tab ones count?)


As you can see on info sheet, they named the frame the "Sir Han," and used images of pistols and a silencer-wielding gunman. Which is all well and good, I suppose—the company is named "Hitman," and their last frame, the Ruby, was a nod to Jack, who sent Lee Harvey Oswald on his way.

But "Sir Han" is a whole other matter. Sirhan Sirhan was the nutjob who assassinated Presidential candidate Bobby Kennedy back in '68, paving the way for Dick Nixon and Spiro Agnew and all the ensuing unpleasantness. Not that Jack Ruby was a saint, but naming your 21-holed frame for a guy who put four holes in a future President—and is still very much alive, awaiting his 14th shot at parole—is at best a sick joke. I can't wait for the James Earl Ray and the MDC.

(Hitman is also releasing a drilled-out, sub-four-pound flatland frame that was designed in part by Day Smith and Sean McKinney. It only has 18 holes in it. Hopefully Sean wanted all the holes so the frame could double as a bong.)

Given the 18 holes, they should have called the flat frame the "Tiger," or the "Spackler." Instead they went with the "Judas," who may have betrayed Jesus, but never shot anyone. What a pussy.

Quiz For All Mankind

Lots of Mankind product updates on the System Cycles blog today, which means it's finally time for another quiz.



1. In addition to the 18 styles already on their site, the blog shows five new seat designs. Two of them, including the Globe (shown) were already in their lineup.

Which means Mankind now has how many different seats?

a) 23

b) 21

c) 18

d) way too fucking many



2. Brew crew.


Laser-cut decorative seatstay/chainstay bridges are all the rage these days. Stricker has the anchor, Homan had the NJ, Mutiny does brass knuckles. Even 2Hip did an "A" for Jarrod Allen. This frame was made for:

a) Cecil Cooper

b) Robin Yount

c) Jeff Klugiewicz

d) Paul Molitor

e) Prince Fielder



3. Bottom bracket.

Anodizing and engraving a part that will never see the light of day except when it's in the packaging (or installed in a Grim Reaper) is:

a) insane

b) stupid

c) overkill

d) a complete waste of time and money

e) all of the above



4. Barends.


Selling an aluminum barend in 200h8—even if only the endcap is aluminum—is the equivalent of selling:

a) a chromoly seatpost

b) a seven-pound frame

c) forks with peg bosses

d) a cross-bolt stem

e) a 16-tooth cassette driver



5. Bridges redux.


The globe on the Neworld frame is indicitave of:

a) Mankind's wish to join the United Nations

b) Mankind's love for this planet

c) Mankind's wish to produce an entirely useless and purely decorative "brace"

d) Mankind's quest for worldwide domination

e) Mankind's desire to remind everyone where they are

Public Service Announcement

Before you buy that fantastic new part that you're sure will make you a better rider, maybe watch this:



• 44/16
• American BB, regular headset
• 48s
• 7+ pound frame

All add up to what may be the best video section ever?

Yeah, you're probably not Van Homan. But it's more about how you ride than what you ride. Just ride your bike.

EDIT: Since it was posted in the comments, I may as well add the old Ride bike check here. Thanks, anonymous. Mean Street!

Four-Piece and a Biscuit

Don't look now, but four-piece bars are making a comeback. Again. Maybe. Only this time they're bigger and badder than ever. Well, except for when they were popular in the early '90s and again in the late '90s. (It's more or less impossible to find someone that rode in the late '80s/early '90s who didn't have a set of Haro Kneesavers or GT four-piece, or someone that rode in the late '90s and didn't have a set of Castillos or Mad Dogs or Moe's Bars.) I can hardly wait for the return of the six- and seven-piece bar. Are we headed back to this?

Anyway, when I saw a shot of the new Federal 20/20 Bars (whatever that name means):


on their blog the first thing I thought of was a post I made on my old blog back in January of '07. I happened to have two sets of uncut GT four-piece bars (the 3D blueprint for the original "Bob" bar), and since they were 28" wide and chrome, I decided to shoot them and present them as if they were a new Animal product. I then assured everyone that it was just a joke. Were I cleverer, I would have let it hang for a little longer before ruining all the fun.

Now, of course, it's come full circle—the 'new' Federal bars look an awful lot like old DK bars. I half expect Haro (or maybe Premium) to offer an updated version of the OG Kneesavers—or maybe some lightened-up Mirra and or Nyquist Bars. Redline could bring back the Forklifters, complete with number-plate mounting tabs.

Federal isn't the only one on this particular bandwagon. Sputnic is pushing their own 13-butted version, in three different rises and three different colors, complete with their exclusive pad-centering (and utterly disgusting) externally butted crossbar:


I also like that they mention the "street-inspired 4-piece design." Because you never see anyone riding a street bike with two-piece bars or a race bike with four-piece. How can handlebars be "street inspired" anyway?

Of course for those who don't need 28"x8" and could care less about weight, there's always old faithful, the Animal Bob Bars:


I love that people are complaining (anonymously, of course) that Federal is just copying the Bob Bar (even though they're obviously wider and have way more backsweep) when the Bob Bar itself is a BLATANT—and acknowledged—ripoff of the GT's design from the early '90s. They're probably the most popular four-piece bar on the market right now, because they don't have that much competition. They're SIX WHOLE OUNCES heavier than the Sputnics, but think of the street cred! Even Corey Martinez has a pair, although he runs them a bit differently than most:


Word is that United is also coming out with a four-piece bar, which is good news for Corey so he won't have to be unceremoniously dumped from yet another team.

It'll be interesting to see whether this bigger crop of four-piece bars catches on. I kind of hope they do, just so companies start making something other than 28"x8" two-piece bars. (Not that it will be any better if everyone starts making 28"x8" four-piece bars. And I don't think my stomach could even handle a 29"x8.5" four-piece bar.)

But before everyone starts rushing to be first, let's consider that this isn't the first time a company has tried to make a big four-piece bar. Remember the FBM Dinner Box Bars:

They didn't make much of an impact when they came out, and disappeared without a trace. If there's any left at the warehouse, Steve and JPR should consider having them chromed and re-named. Because perhaps their time has finally come.

Personally? I'm holding out for the return of three-piece bars. I'm so far ahead of my time I'm about to pass you twice.

Port of Austin

I was really psyched a couple of years ago when Sunday came out with the Vinnie Sammon frame. Not just because I'd known Vinnie for a long time, and he deserved a frame as much as anyone, but because Sunday chose to go a different route than most companies—while Vinnie's frame had a signature paint job and sticker set, underneath it was just another Sunday Wave.

When word came out that Sunday was doing another signature frame, this time for the everfluorescent Aaron Ross, I figured it would be more of the same, only brighter. But the spy photo posted on Sunday (check out the stamped caps!) and the fact that the frame is in for "testing" makes me wonder:


What could be changed for the better? It always seemed ridiculous to me that, in the interest of having multiple 'signature' frames, companies would offer a line of four or five "different" frames that differed so slightly that you'd be hard-pressed to tell the difference. Hell, the welders could probably barely tell the difference. And if one frame wound up being more popular than another, well, there went the profits. Sunday, I thought, they had it right. It was like skateboarding. Just change the graphics, keep the basic product the same.

Then they released the Ian frame, with the built-in post, and OK, I sort of understood that. If you were just going to run your seat slammed anyway, there was no need for a separate post and clamp. I guess. And the rest of the geometry was the same, so it was more or less still just a Sunday—kind of like the signature T1 Barcodes from a ways back (there's still a new 21" Garrett under my bed).

But this, I'm not sure. What could they change? I'm pretty sure Ross's FBMs were 74.5 degrees with conventional rear end lengths and whatnot. Maybe a lower toptube? GPS? Built-in ice-cream scoop?

Let the rampant speculation begin!

EDIT: Added the second photo. Apparently the frame will be called the "Funday", which is totally awesome.