Vicious Acts of Tierraism

Liam Fahy-Hampton, Ride cover subject and scooterer extraordinaire (news flash: bikes have chains) just got a signature frame from Colony. The "Hell Stallion" has generic tattoo flash graphics that make Norman Collins cry and the following specs:

Full Post Heat Treated Colonized CrMo
TT sizes - 20.85 or 21.25″
HT - 75.5 degrees
ST - 71 degrees
CS - 13.75″
ST height - 7″
Weight - 4.8lbs


It's a long flatland frame, more or less. Another generic tailwhip machine with a steep headtube (75 degrees isn't steep enough?), low toptube, short rear, and sub-5 pound weight. Terrific. Figure out what tricks you do most, and then design a frame to make them easier. Fahy-Hampton is talented enough to do what he does on a "normal" frame (as is someone like Kevin Porter, who after all, rode for Standard before getting on Fly), but instead he rides this specialized contraption.

The Tierraists have already won.


(I love frames with no mounts and holes for Gyro tabs.)


The worst offender in this regard, of course, is Blackeye's Cory Jarman, whose signature frame, the Killorado (why do all these frame names sound like W.A.S.P. songs?) is an abomination against everything ever. It looks like a stripped-down girls bike from Toys R Us. I know he does 180 whips down stairs, but it's ridiculous for the same reason it would be if someone hit 2,000 home runs while using a special aluminum/carbon bat. I hesitate to call it cheating, but it's pretty freaking lame. Would you ride this? On purpose? More than once?


You'll get your chance, as Blackeye is allegedly producing a limited run of Killorados for the general public. And by general public I mean Cory's immediate family.


(Dude, that's not impressive. Stephen Hawking could jump over your bike.)

The best part about all these squashed frames is that they're inherently weaker than a "conventional" double-diamond frame. And by "conventional" I mean "having a seat tube". The bigger the triangle, the stronger the structure. To a point, I suppose. Not to mention it would be really embarassing when you hit your cranks on your seat.

They're more or less practice bikes, something to learn a specific trick on before switching to a conventional bike. Hell, Cory's bike should be called "The Foam Pit." Watching someone ride that thing for a whole video section would be like watching them ride a tramp bike.

Regardless, I can't wait until somebody "designs" this, just with a 77 degree headtube:

This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse

I present to you the Nike 6.0 Mogan Mid:


It's supposed to be a homage to ramp builders, hence the circular saw blades (which remind me more of W.A.S.P.), "plywood" (which looks more like cheap blinds), and bent nails. Bent nails? Isn't that a bad thing? What's next? A trails shoe decorated with tree roots and barbed wire? A street shoe with skate stoppers and broken glass? This is quite possibly the most disgusting shoe ever made—the kind of thing a well-meaning parent would buy for a soon-to-be-disappointed kid. Hint: If you're gonna buy your kid these shoes, buy them a can of flat-black Krylon as well.

I'm not one of those people who's entirely opposed to Nike being involved in BMX and skateboarding. This is not just because (full disclosure) I know people there and occasionally get product for free. Nike does more research when it comes to shoes and the foot than any other company. And I have more faith in a giant shoe company figuring out the needs of BMX than I do of a BMX company figuring out how to produce shoes .

Then again, maybe I'm wrong.