ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

 Sorry that grabber of a headline doesn't really have to do with anything in particular but I DID reactivate the SPRFLS twitter (again) and actually look at the SPRFLS e-mail inbox for the first time in, uh, like three years. So there's that. Anyway here's a photo of my old Sunday —I think I still have everything that was on it. Should I start selling old shit on here? So many options!

Reborn

Hey, it's been a while. The twitter account—@SPRFLS—has come back to life, so follow along. Will the blog rise from the dead as well? STAY TUNED.

Mystery Science Theater

Inspired by a topic on good ol' BMXboard, I'd like to address the mystery that is Cinema Wheel Co. Here is the sum total of what I know about them:

• They have a website.
• They have a killer team.
• Their rims are 36-hole only, welded at the seams, extruded from 6061, feature a concave profile (hey, sort of like these!), and available in all the cool colors.
• Their hubs are sealed, have 3/8" front and hollow 14mm rear axles, and come with a 9t driver.
• They sell t-shirts (or "apparel").

And that's more or less it. A company from nowhere, selling nothing that isn't available already elsewhere, who markets their product by pretty much saying "they're good enough for our awesome team, so they're obviously good enough for you." Nothing on who started the company, who's responsible for product development -- er, picking designs from a Taiwanese catalog -- or even on the origins of the decidedly odd name. Nevermind the fact that guys like DeHart and Martinez would still be killing it if they had to ride these. But, ooh, isn't the packaging neat? And look at all the pretty colors! (Incidentally, this is the same sort of thing that led me to buy white "Mike Buff" Z-Rims in 1985 or so.)

Shouldn't we expect more by now? Don't we deserve more? Hell, I can find out more about the tilapia for sale at my local supermarket than I can about these wheels. If your only reason I should buy your wheels is because of who runs them -- people you PAY to run them -- maybe it's time to re-think your marketing strategy.

Or just stick to "apparel."

How Much Is Enough?

Anonymous 10:55 made a good point on the 10/15 post: Frame companies aren't offering many differences these days other than image. Basic geometry is set, materials are (for the most part) the same, and (other than Sunday) so is the shape/diameter of tubing. After decades of experimentation, frame design is more or less set. You don't pick an FBM over an S&M because of your style of riding, you pick that way because you're from the East Coast and not the West. Or because you support fire, beer and mayhem. In a way, BMX has finally moved closer to skateboarding, where the main difference between one company and another is the graphics.

Which, if you think about it, doesn't seem like a terribly sustainable model. In skateboarding it is. Decks are disposable -- one might last you a week or a day or at MOST a month or two before you break it. Ideally, even the lightest BMX frame should last six months to a year to a decade, provided you're not hucking yourself down triple sets. And then there's the matter of the lifetime warranty, where every kid -- or at least his mother -- thinks they should only have to buy one frame ever, and that any damage at all is clearly due to manufacturer's defects. ("I was just grinding along and...") Regardless, even the most dedicated BMXer will buy fewer frames in a lifetime than a skater will buy decks in a year.

The answer? I don't know. It's the nature of companies to want to grow, and the nature of riders to start companies. The easiest way to growth is to offer everything, so you can be a one-stop shop and don't lose customers to another company when they want something you don't make. Or expand the product lineup to make up for revenue lost when your big sellers aren't so big anymore, or when other companies infringe on "your" turf. So you get ridiculous overlap, where everyone offers pretty much the same things these days -- plastic pedals, big two-piece bars, one-piece seat/post combos, sprockets, completes. And rather than innovate, (nearly) everyone just follows along, slapping their logo on whatever the next hot craze is, in hopes of shifting units.

I guess it works, or else everyone wouldn't be doing it. But for how much longer?

The Descent of Man

Another thing I missed during my time away was the introduction of the S&M "Perfect 10" bar -- 30" width and 10" of rise, guaranteed to make your boring old Slams look like a pair of Kink Red Wings. They already sold out at Empire, which means either Tom only ordered three pairs or that they were wildly popular amongst the bigger-is-better set.

Considering the trend towards bars getting taller and wider, and frames getting lower, I can only conclude that the average street rider of the future will look something like this.

Splinter Cell

One of the things I missed during my long, self-imposed hiatus was the formation of Cult (or Fit II: The New Beginning). Best I can tell, after a decade or so of quiet growth, Fit abruptly divided in two, leaving both the original Fit, mostly unchanged, and Cult. For those of you with a science background (as in, you didn't sleep through ALL of middle school biology), you would recognize this as simple binary fission, as illustrated below:


(Feel free to ignore the complicated words, and please don't try and figure out which of those weird tangled spaghetti-like strands is Robbie Morales.)

Now, just because it took a decade or so for Fit to divide doesn't mean it will be another decade before it divides again. And remember that the newly produced cell divides as well, so the expansion is geometric -- 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, and so on. Before you know it, there will be more frame companies than there are people on Earth, and eventually BMX frame companies will be the most plentiful element in the universe.

Only you can prevent forest fires.

Getting Back In Gear

Well, good to see I'm still an idiot.

As if the name ("Iron Man") and the lack of a steel insert for the splines and the weight and THE FACT THAT IT SAYS 4130 RIGHT IN THE DESCRIPTION weren't enough, somehow I still assumed the S&M Iron Man sprocket was made of aluminum. And we all know what happens when you assume. So, apologies for that. Still not sure how I feel about the individually drilled teeth (and the fact that they're 3/32"), but I'd be totally down to run a chromoly sprocket. I can't at the moment since I run Twombolts, but I suppose we'll see how this all works out. (For the record, I'm totally in favor of eliminating the sprocket bolt -- not for weight savings, but in the interests of spreading stress evenly and cleaner design.)

•••••••

I just looked up "BMX" on Google Image Search and this was the first result. Maybe next time I should turn "Safe Search" on?

Driller Killer

Sorry y'all, took yesterday off to recognize Columbus Day. Not sure why they get a day while True Temper doesn't, but I'm not gonna make waves. Also, not sure why I'm apologizing about missing a day when I took over a year off with no explanation at all. Nevermind.

To get back in the swing of things, I decided to just go to the Dans Comp website and scroll through the "new arrivals." Made it almost all the way through the parts with only mild amuzement (which is a combination of amazement and amusement, of course) -- what the heck is an Alius and a Mission? -- before landing on this:


Now, I know S&M ain't afraid of no hoax. But it's not April, and it's hard to believe that Dan's would help perpetrate. And with the direction the average CNCed aluminum snowflake has been going, drilled teeth (they should have called this sprocket the Shane MacGowan) were probably inevitable.

As usual, of course, BMX is roughly 50 years late to the party. Roadies drilled out their chainrings back in the '70s, a practice that was (mostly) abandoned in the modern era. But even they never drilled out the actual teeth, as far as I know. Mostly because they weren't (completely) insane. Meanwhile, BMXers fell in love with things like the "CD sprocket" which, thankfully, will NEVER come back.

Fuck.

EDIT: As DBZ pointed out, somehow I overlooked that the Iron Man was made of 4130. I'm frightened.

Clamp Down

I'm sure lots of things happened while I was away -- lots of "innovation" and "progression" and all sorts of other neat stuff. Happily, I ignored much of it. And whilst my own new steed may be equipped with folding tires and giant handlebars, it's still (mostly) all black and those giant handlebars are four-piece.

To be honest, I prefer to focus on the things that didn't change. Heck, it's 2010 -- I figured street would have been taken over by a bunch of waiflike Garrett Reynolds clones throwing 720 whips down double sets on pegless, aluminum-framed "street" bikes with 28-spoke wheels and those aluminum Answer bars with the bolt-on crossbars. Basically, 13 Experts Gone Wild. But no, steel is still real, and most wheels are still 36-spoke. And I have yet to see a 22"-wheeled bike in the wild. Phew.

There is something that concerns me, though, and that is the continued effort to eradicate the seatpost clamp. Said campaign appears to be spearheaded by Animal pro riders, which is funny since Animal appears to still make/sell these. Now, though, appears to be the Era of the Wedge Post. It started over a year ago with the WTP Mike Brennan/Max Gaertig signature frame. That was only the beginning.

First -- well, maybe not first, but whatever -- we have the Wormz frame from FBM:



(Admittedly, the circumcised seattube is more than made up for by the coolest headbadge in BMX history.)

Then there's Skavenger. Long a rumor, now true, NYC's streetiest have come out with a full line of hardgoods including signature frames for both Edwin DeLaRosa and Vinnie Sammon. Neither is SPC-friendly. Needless to say, don't expect a Skavenger seatpost clamp anytime soon.

Hey, I get it. They're signature frames. And if Ed and Vinnie and Wormz and Mike and Max (UNDRCRWN x Animal collab?) are committed to the wedge post, they can design their frames any way they see fit. And I hope they sell. As for me? I'll be sticking to these.

•••••••••

Oh man, awesome, S&M is manufacturing some of United's Grande Bars. Sweet! And they're...only available in the UK? Uh, right.

Tailwhip Appeal

Holy hell, I'm still here. Not only am I still here, I seem to still be signed into Blogspot, which is something of a miracle (and, a good thing, since there's no way I'd remember my password).

Got a new bike since I was here last, a 2010 T1 Barcode. Somehow it's the first Terrible One I've ever ridden -- not the first one I've owned, but the first one I've ridden. There's still a Maas Barcode stashed in the attic (in the unopened box, no less), along with a Garrettcode that I always meant to build but never did.

As it turned out, I was in Austin over New Years before my frame got shipped, so I was able to stop by T1 HQ and receive my frame from the Ultimate Male himself. (I left it there and had it shipped back to NY, but that's not important here.) Eventually I got it built up, and it looks like this:


Well, it looked like that until I got rid of the skinwall tire. But you get the gist. The Barcode is still a classic BMX frame -- no tapered stays, no lightening holes, requires the use of an actual seatpost clamp -- but there's still something off. Compare the current Barcode above to the classic Barcode below:


Yes, that bike could beat up my bike. No, I don't want to go back to the days of dinnerplate sprockets and couch enema seats. However, I do hate the fact that front triangles have become so acute. What was wrong with standover height? The new-ish Barcode isn't exactly a Killorado, but come on, people. Are we that desperate to drop weight? It's bad enough that I need to hear I'm riding a little kid's bike, do I have to have people think I'm riding a little GIRL'S bike?

Sigh.

Interdyke

I don't even know what that header means, I just didn't want to be left out in the cold.

No, I'm not in Las Vegas. I keep saying I'm going to go to Interbike, and then I realize that there are roughly 674,904,783 places I'd rather go than Las Vegas. And if I wanted to hang out with BMXers, I'd ride my bike.

To keep this vaguely relevant, I'd just like to say that Macneil's going back to the 22.2mm seatpost standard because frame tubing is smaller now makes about as much sense as going back to 1" headtubes. Your move, Jay. (Or was that Silent Bob's idea?) Smaller-diameter seatposts aren't any lighter, but they're definitely weaker. So, on behalf of those of us who insist upon running more than .000005" of exposed seatpost, thank you for reducing the number of frame companies we'd consider by one.

(The bike in the photo above is what we presume will be shown at Interbike in 2012. The 3/8" axles in the front and rear save weight, as does the 1" headtube and the 22.2mm seatpost. The radical curve in said seatpost allows one to run a shorter frame, yet still keep one's weight centered further back. You'll also note the liberal use of chrome.)

Savage Seduction

That's the problem with redecorating in white—you never want to put that first smudge on it. Of course, once you do, it only gets easier. Can't live your life with a layer of clear plastic over it. That's not living, unless you're a tray chicken parts. In which case you're not alive anyway. Um, yeah.

(In a similar vein, can anyone explain to me why people drive with "bras" on their cars? Yes, you're keeping the front end from getting chipped. I understand that. But for what? You never take the damn thing off anyway! OK, sorry.)

Sometimes a product comes out that I don't even have to write about. Just posting an image seems like enough, words would just be redundant. Like these:


Animal's new MK3 pegs are the "1st color chromoly peg in the market. This is a new special paint process which does not affect grinding performance." Do I even need to say anything?

(OK, I will say this. Is it reaching a point where there needs to be a new Animal? By that I mean, is there room for a new "street" oriented company that just makes basic no-frills parts in black and black only? Isn't there still a market for that sort of thing? Seems to me that BMX is reaching that same oversaturation point it did in the late '80s, where everything was available in every conceivable color and everything was great until half the companies went broke. Doing all sorts of colors is awesome, except for when kids change their mind about which colors are cool. We'll see, I guess. At least the chrome Bobs are cool.)

•••••••••••

Best Interbike preview ever?

The Devil's Hellion Child

Undoubtedly, when it passes, the year 2009 will have meant a lot of things to a lot of people. Barack Obama was inaugurated as the 44th President. Kobe Bryant finally won a ring without Shaq. It was the International Year of Natural Fibres. And ya boy Askar Aitamov turned 50.

But for those of us who live, breathe and compulsively weigh BMX, perhaps nothing was bigger than Volume Bikes turning 10. And to celebrate such a momentous anniversary, they're re-releasing the Hellion.



Well, not exactly re-releasing as such.

The original Hellion was a monster, what with its massive gussett and proprietary detachable headtube. Among its many, many advantages was that it was cheaper than a Kink or a Standard. Not just any frame could get that endorsement, especially Kinks or Standards.

Now, you may be looking at this new Hellion and wondering what exactly makes it a Hellion. Hater. All you have to do is read the fine print:

"The new Hellion features similar design features as the first: brake bosses on the CS med height ST (no scooters here!) and a double diamond rear end."

Hm. Interesting. Yes, chainstay brakes do seem to be going the way of the massive headtube gussett and toptubes are sinking faster than a mastodon in a tar pit. But much like the Kink Empire Revision C, the new Hellion has virtually nothing in common with its namesake besides the name. Well, OK, and it's a BMX frame. It's like Chevy putting out a front-wheel-drive econobox called the "Chevelle" and stating that it has similar design features as the first: four wheels and an engine.

I suppose the "outtie" headtube badge (as opposed to the "innie" on Rob's Zombie) is there as a reminder of those carefree days when frames were needlessly heavy, rims were triplewall and bikes were ridden until the wheels (or headtubes) fell off.

Oh well. At least Blackie Lawless is psyched.

Yes, Again

Twits

Yeah, I'm on Twitter. So is everyone else, or so it seems. Whiling our lives away 140 characters at a time. I sometimes amuse myself by trying to use exactly 140 characters without resorting to typing like a teenage girl. I'm sure Hemingway used to do the same exact thing.

Anyway, I don't talk about BMX all the time on Twitter. In fact, I barely talk about BMX at all. Just today some site that "tracks influence across the social web" decreed me the bronze medal influencer about baseball over the past seven days. Even considering that this only takes into account those silly enough to register their accounts in the first place, this is ludicrous. Do I tweet about baseball? Sure, but mostly to bitch about how much the Mets suck and suggest new and creative ways to get rid of manager Jerry Manuel. I highly doubt I'm influencing anyone.

But there are those who do Tweet about BMX, and many of them post photos. Like Brian Kachinsky, who posted these ultra-exciting prototype plastic DK pedals (innovation: they're made by DK and 'soooo light' with four 'o's), and BMXer and cigar aficionado Nick Wiegand whose multiple-butted Macneil bars fell apart like a poorly rolled Dominican. And there's Rich Hirsch, who posted the new Lotek jeans tags. Because you need to know these things.

All in all, I think Twitter is a good thing. It's like an ever-ongoing AIM conversation where people enter and leave randomly. I've talked shit about the Celtics with Ryan Sher and read too many corny jokes to count from Ed Koenning's dog. Also, I posted a picture of my bike leaning against a curb.

Dig Dug

Writing rarely comes easy for me. Which sucks, since it's my job and all. Not one I clock in and out of, mind you, but one that takes up a good portion of my days. And whether it's something I'm getting paid for or something I'm doing for free, you can bet that I agonize over each and every word. (Even -------> this <------- one.) It's not ideal, but it's my life. Whether it's a living or not is yet to be determined.

Getting started is usually the hardest part. Once I get going, I'm good. I don't break deadlines, although I do show up to a lot of them out of breath and carrying a bouquet. If a piece is due on a Friday, I generally spend all week long stressing, then bang it out on Thursday night into Friday morning. That's just how I roll. I don't like it much—and it can't be good for me—but it seems unlikely to change.

There are times, however, when writing comes easier. Like, say, when I have inspiration. For example, when a prominent BMX magazine intros a new product by taking shots at me. Not that anything like that would ever happen.

Look, feel free to take shots. I can handle it. When I started this blog, I realized that would probably happen. Although I'm surprised they'd come from DIG. And I'm even more surprised that they failed to do any basic fact checking. To wit:

a) I still ride bikes. Rode today, in fact. And yesterday.

b) I don't have a television in my bedroom.

c) My parents' garage doesn't have a room over it.

Quite frankly, after all those egregious errors, I find it hard to believe anything they wrote, even the stuff about whatever generic squashed and steep frame it is they're pushing now. (Since it's for the "technical street rider," I assume it's either the new Standard Bullitt, or a signature frame for Trent Reznor.)

As for the living at home thing, yep. One hundred percent true. I'm looking at it as a vacation of sorts, only one where I have to mow the lawn and occasionally go to the grocery store. The suburbs are actually a nice break after spending the last 10 years living in midtown Manhattan. Don't know what I'm talking about, DIG guys? That's fine. More likely than not—especially if the media biz keeps heading in the direction it is now—you'll find out for yourselves soon enough.

•••••••••

Steven Hamilton is.

Shawn Bradley

If there's anything you can count on in the world of BMX, it's that everyone's striving to make their frames lighter and their bars taller. Lighter and taller, taller and lighter. Hence the title.

(It's funny, because back when heavy bikes were the thing, taller and wider bars would have been a big help, no? Weight didn't matter, and it would have been a lot easier to get your 45-pound monstrosity off the ground with uncut 8x28s than it was using Castillo bars cut down so narrow that the grips touched the crossbar. Ah, the folly of youth. And stupidity. And Freddy Chulo. I fear the legacy of late-'90s BMX will eventually just be Van Homan and back problems.)

Anyway, just two things:

1) How can I not love Proper? First the "lighter than a roadbike hub" front hub, and now "taller than tall bars because we're making a frontload stem and we want our riders to run them (the stems, that is) even though we actually decided to do a topload too, so this idea is wholly unnecessary." BMX: Making things overly complicated since 1974.

2) Not exactly sure how I wound up on Derek Betcher's site (searching for "shimano dxr" I think) and I definitely had never heard of him before, but I found it funny that his prototype aluminum race frame weighs more than his prototype chromoly trails frame. Now I think the new Garrett's a bad idea because it's obviously far too heavy.

••••••••

You've probably seen it already (it was posted on Hypebeast, for God's sake), but the new Mutiny video looks terrific:

Mutiny Bikes "Let's Get Mystical" Trailer! from Mutiny Bikes on Vimeo.

The Homan Empire

I feel like I'm really late with this—it's probably already been posted on multiple sites and been the top link on BMXfeed—but how can I not post it here?



As you may or may not know, Van placed third in X Games street this weekend, beaten out by two kids who probably grew up with his RIDE covers hanging on their walls and his Little Devil parts playing on their TVs. Van's amongst that last generation of riders who threw down monster bangers on 44/16-equipped tanks and, yes, learned how to bunnyhop before they learned how to tailwhip. Unlike most of his peers, who are either running bike companies or frontloaders these days, he's still beating the little whippersnappers who learned by watching him. Kind of like LL Cool J and Canibus.

Van used to have a signature frame through Fit, but it got discontinued because it was far too awesome for mere mortals to comprehend. Plus, it weighed like six pounds.

Defenders of the Faith

Generally, I'm not one to do blog posts as responses to a post on a different website that was a response to one of my own earlier posts. It seems silly—like having what should be a private argument while yelling over a speakerphone on a crowded street: "LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GAVE ME THE GODDAMN HERPES! DO I LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF PERSON WHO GETS LAID ALL THE TIME?" OK, maybe it's just me.

Anyway, I was surfing the interwebs Wednesday night when I came across this In the Gnar post bemoaning my apparent hatchet job on the new T1 Garrett frame. I actually had to go back and read my initial post again to see whether I killed it that badly. Nope, didn't think so. However, I thought I'd expand on my feelings. For what it's worth.

First, a few seemingly disjointed facts:

1) Complete bikes are starting to get awesome. (More on that next week.)

2) Most American-made "street" frames are now made from SuperTherm (or some other heat-treated and butted) tubing, weigh less than five pounds, and cost around $400.

3) The economy is fucked.

4) The average rider doesn't need a 22-pound bike.

Where am I going with all this? Good question! Let's start at the beginning.

Roughly 10 years ago, when the average BMX bike weighed 35 pounds, Waterford started making frames for Standard from heat-treated True Temper tubing. Standard called these frames "R-Models," and sold them for considerably more than their "normal" chromoly counterparts. Same frames, different weights. Waterford, having done high-end road and mountain bikes for a long time, had access to tubing that other companies may not have even been aware of. Standard took advantage.

If you remember (or even if you don't), S&M responded by releasing the "PBR Model," a conventional 4130 frame with extra mockery. Now When news dropped that S&M were gonna do a new Dirt Bike, I was excited. A new, affordable S&M frame? Nope. They went back to uncapped stays, but kept the high-zoot tubing and the $360 pricetag.

Look, I understand that SuperTherm allows you to build a lighter frame that's still strong. From the S&M website:

SuperTherm is highly temper-resistant, resulting in an 11% increase in fatigue life and a 20% increase in impact strength over heat-treated 4130.

Fantastic. It's also however-many-percent more expensive. One would think (or at least I would) that there'd still be a market for a heavier 4130 frame (that still made use of innovations like smaller dropouts and larger vent holes) that was available at a lower price point than all of the SuperTherm and 4Q Baked frames out there. It's hard to believe that EVERY rider out there is so weight-obsessed that a five-and-a-half-pound frame (or even six—mercy!) wouldn't be viable.

Which comes back to T1 thusly: Seems to me that damn near every American frame manufacturer—S&M, Standard, FBM, T1, Fit, Metal—is targeting the same demographic, namely, the one that needs to know whether a frame weight is with or without paint. You've got a bunch of companies who at least used to have somewhat unique identities offering very similar products at very similar prices to the same batch of consumers. An who will the average kid go with? The one who sponsors Eddie Cleveland and Dakota Roche, the one who sponsors Cameron Wood and Randy Brown, or the one who sponsors Garrett Byrnes? I can't help but feel that T1 is setting themselves up to fail.

I suppose the greater question is this: Where's the modern equivalent of the Standard Cashius or the Dirtbike Classic? Given the current state of the economy (and the basic advances in framebuilding), wouldn't it be a no-brainer?

••••••

If you'd rather just read a killer interview with Joe Rich, go here. Good stuff, Brian.

Ghetto Fabulous

For as long as I've known about them, I've been a fan of BSD. You couldn't really get their products over here—what products there were—and I always fondly thought of them as sort of a Scottish FBM: a bunch of genial BMX drunks who spent their spare time riding trails and setting things on fire.

Well, like FBM, they've had to innovate or die. First there was the Forever frame, and now there are the "Ghetto Forks":



Here's part of the description:

"The Ghetto fork is full heat-treated, with tapered legs, integrated race, 7075 top cap, 35mm offset and a weight of 1.88lb."

Ghetto?

Huh. When I think of "ghetto forks," I think of a pair of messily spraypainted S&M Ditchforks with the 990 mounts hacksawed off. But maybe that's just me. Admittedly, though, we've reached the magical point in human history where sincerity and irony have met in a messy head-on collision. Face it, you have no idea whether that guy over there in the Slipknot t-shirt is wearing it because he likes Slipknot or because he doesn't like Slipknot. And you're not about to go over and ask him because, you know, he's wearing a Slipknot t-shirt.

Then again, ain't no one buying true "ghetto forks" these days anyway. If it's over two pounds, forget it.

•••••••••••

Hey Macneil, if you're going to do a "bike check," can you please list ALL the parts, not just the Macneil ones? Thanks.