ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

 Sorry that grabber of a headline doesn't really have to do with anything in particular but I DID reactivate the SPRFLS twitter (again) and actually look at the SPRFLS e-mail inbox for the first time in, uh, like three years. So there's that. Anyway here's a photo of my old Sunday —I think I still have everything that was on it. Should I start selling old shit on here? So many options!

Reborn

Hey, it's been a while. The twitter account—@SPRFLS—has come back to life, so follow along. Will the blog rise from the dead as well? STAY TUNED.

Mystery Science Theater

Inspired by a topic on good ol' BMXboard, I'd like to address the mystery that is Cinema Wheel Co. Here is the sum total of what I know about them:

• They have a website.
• They have a killer team.
• Their rims are 36-hole only, welded at the seams, extruded from 6061, feature a concave profile (hey, sort of like these!), and available in all the cool colors.
• Their hubs are sealed, have 3/8" front and hollow 14mm rear axles, and come with a 9t driver.
• They sell t-shirts (or "apparel").

And that's more or less it. A company from nowhere, selling nothing that isn't available already elsewhere, who markets their product by pretty much saying "they're good enough for our awesome team, so they're obviously good enough for you." Nothing on who started the company, who's responsible for product development -- er, picking designs from a Taiwanese catalog -- or even on the origins of the decidedly odd name. Nevermind the fact that guys like DeHart and Martinez would still be killing it if they had to ride these. But, ooh, isn't the packaging neat? And look at all the pretty colors! (Incidentally, this is the same sort of thing that led me to buy white "Mike Buff" Z-Rims in 1985 or so.)

Shouldn't we expect more by now? Don't we deserve more? Hell, I can find out more about the tilapia for sale at my local supermarket than I can about these wheels. If your only reason I should buy your wheels is because of who runs them -- people you PAY to run them -- maybe it's time to re-think your marketing strategy.

Or just stick to "apparel."

How Much Is Enough?

Anonymous 10:55 made a good point on the 10/15 post: Frame companies aren't offering many differences these days other than image. Basic geometry is set, materials are (for the most part) the same, and (other than Sunday) so is the shape/diameter of tubing. After decades of experimentation, frame design is more or less set. You don't pick an FBM over an S&M because of your style of riding, you pick that way because you're from the East Coast and not the West. Or because you support fire, beer and mayhem. In a way, BMX has finally moved closer to skateboarding, where the main difference between one company and another is the graphics.

Which, if you think about it, doesn't seem like a terribly sustainable model. In skateboarding it is. Decks are disposable -- one might last you a week or a day or at MOST a month or two before you break it. Ideally, even the lightest BMX frame should last six months to a year to a decade, provided you're not hucking yourself down triple sets. And then there's the matter of the lifetime warranty, where every kid -- or at least his mother -- thinks they should only have to buy one frame ever, and that any damage at all is clearly due to manufacturer's defects. ("I was just grinding along and...") Regardless, even the most dedicated BMXer will buy fewer frames in a lifetime than a skater will buy decks in a year.

The answer? I don't know. It's the nature of companies to want to grow, and the nature of riders to start companies. The easiest way to growth is to offer everything, so you can be a one-stop shop and don't lose customers to another company when they want something you don't make. Or expand the product lineup to make up for revenue lost when your big sellers aren't so big anymore, or when other companies infringe on "your" turf. So you get ridiculous overlap, where everyone offers pretty much the same things these days -- plastic pedals, big two-piece bars, one-piece seat/post combos, sprockets, completes. And rather than innovate, (nearly) everyone just follows along, slapping their logo on whatever the next hot craze is, in hopes of shifting units.

I guess it works, or else everyone wouldn't be doing it. But for how much longer?

The Descent of Man

Another thing I missed during my time away was the introduction of the S&M "Perfect 10" bar -- 30" width and 10" of rise, guaranteed to make your boring old Slams look like a pair of Kink Red Wings. They already sold out at Empire, which means either Tom only ordered three pairs or that they were wildly popular amongst the bigger-is-better set.

Considering the trend towards bars getting taller and wider, and frames getting lower, I can only conclude that the average street rider of the future will look something like this.

Splinter Cell

One of the things I missed during my long, self-imposed hiatus was the formation of Cult (or Fit II: The New Beginning). Best I can tell, after a decade or so of quiet growth, Fit abruptly divided in two, leaving both the original Fit, mostly unchanged, and Cult. For those of you with a science background (as in, you didn't sleep through ALL of middle school biology), you would recognize this as simple binary fission, as illustrated below:


(Feel free to ignore the complicated words, and please don't try and figure out which of those weird tangled spaghetti-like strands is Robbie Morales.)

Now, just because it took a decade or so for Fit to divide doesn't mean it will be another decade before it divides again. And remember that the newly produced cell divides as well, so the expansion is geometric -- 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, and so on. Before you know it, there will be more frame companies than there are people on Earth, and eventually BMX frame companies will be the most plentiful element in the universe.

Only you can prevent forest fires.

Getting Back In Gear

Well, good to see I'm still an idiot.

As if the name ("Iron Man") and the lack of a steel insert for the splines and the weight and THE FACT THAT IT SAYS 4130 RIGHT IN THE DESCRIPTION weren't enough, somehow I still assumed the S&M Iron Man sprocket was made of aluminum. And we all know what happens when you assume. So, apologies for that. Still not sure how I feel about the individually drilled teeth (and the fact that they're 3/32"), but I'd be totally down to run a chromoly sprocket. I can't at the moment since I run Twombolts, but I suppose we'll see how this all works out. (For the record, I'm totally in favor of eliminating the sprocket bolt -- not for weight savings, but in the interests of spreading stress evenly and cleaner design.)

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I just looked up "BMX" on Google Image Search and this was the first result. Maybe next time I should turn "Safe Search" on?